100 Days of Hunger

The beginning of a new calendar year brings with it, for many, an urge to make resolutions for the year ahead. And for many, those resolutions involve losing weight. The weight loss industry is aware of this. Every January our TV screens, magazines, billboards, internet ads and radios are filled with advertising for organised diets, meal plans, exercise clothing and equipment, shakes, and all other manner of weight reduction propaganda in approximately double the usual prevalence. We are reminded of the value, and in contrast the worthlessness, of fat bodies. I understand that for a lot of people they feel better when their weight is below a certain number or clothing size. I have been told by many friends, who are thoughtful and considerate people, keen to not perpetuate fatphobic societal attitudes, that their weight loss or maintenance efforts are less about not being fat, and more about feeling comfortable in their skin. Or about how their body functions. Or their gender iden...

"I never could get the hang of Thursdays" - Douglas Adams Thursday this week was one of Those Days. My job was stressful and busy and difficult, and was not helped at all by the proximity, inane prattle, and skewed priorities of my colleague. By 2pm I reached peak pique, and took myself for a walk which just happened to go via the coffee shop, where I just happened to spy a sad lonely chocolate donut languishing alone in the glass-fronted cabinet. Perfect. It's no secret that I'm an emotional eater, and there is nothing better at calming anxiety and stress in the moment than a hearty dose of sugar-laden carbs. I returned to the office with my prize in a brown paper bag, sat at my desk, logged back in, dealt with the build-up of work that had accrued in my absence while the colleague was doing goodness-knows-what, and then removed my shiny delight from it's bag. Hearing the rustle of the paper bag, colleague stuck his head around the partition between our des...

I had a dinner date with my best girl this evening. We met at the cheapo Pho place in Campsie, where for $12 you can get a bowl of delicious aromatic Pho the size of your head. As we tackled our giant bowls of deliciousness we chatted about our weeks, and eventually the talk turned to families. The biological kind. There were tears. It's (not really) funny how often talk of biological families turns to tears. It's comforting to share them with logical family, who understand. Of the many things that best girl and I share and understand about each other, the one we talked about this evening was our unfulfilled hunger for the unconditional love, acceptance, and approval of a particular parent. The problem with this hunger, is that it can never be filled. I am blessed with people in my life who give me unconditional love, acceptance, and approval. I have amazing relationships that are fulfilling, and challenging, and rich with the gamut of emotions. I have people who give me...

I have spent today thinking about kisses. Once upon a time I kissed with reckless abandon, party pashes with friends and strangers alike, flirtatious snogs with crushes, deep passionate melding of mouths with lovers. But these days I kiss cheeks, and sometimes, with particularly close friends, I press my lips briefly to theirs in greeting and farewell. The intimacy of chosen family. It's a lovely intimacy, but I miss the deeper connection of deeper kisses. It's an intimacy I took for granted, and now in its absence, I yearn. I miss that hesitant first kiss moment of loaded tension, as you both lean in and gently brush lips. I miss the mingling of breath, the first electric touch of tongues, exploring and learning and feeling your way into the rhythm of lust. I miss the playful teasing, catching a lip between teeth, flicking my tongue at the crest of their open mouth and retreating when theirs moves forward to meet me. I miss the practiced and familiar kisses of a lover who ...

A friend of mine, the delightful Asha, has just started as 100 day challenge, doing handstands. She's amazing and you can check out her blog here . I haven't done a handstand in probably 30 years, and wouldn't even dream of trying, but it got me thinking about the whole 100 day challenge thing, and while I realise most people seem to use it for physical things, like handstands, pushups, running, etc, the core philosophy is about forming habits. Which made me think about habits I'd like to push, and top of that list is writing. I recently read Hunger: A memoir of (my) body, by Roxane Gay, and it got me thinking about the ways in which I hunger. The ways in which all of us hunger. So here's my own 100 day challenge. Every day, for the next 100 days, I will write a minimum of 100 words loosely themed around hungers. The minimum word count is ridiculously low, especially for me as I am rarely ever succinct, but I had to set the bar somewhere and I like the symmetry,...